Pacing is neither cure not effective management. It’s hard to perfect and to justify.

Pacing is what you are told to do with most chronic illnesses that cause fatigue. Pace your activities so you feel as well as possible, your condition stabilises and hopefully start to get better. With ME this is basically all we have and it’s not enough. Most of us don’t really get any education by our medical professionals on how to pace and some get dangerous advice. Pacing is a word open to much ambiguity. When should I stop? How much should I do? When should I rest? Although on one hand that’s positive because rigid timings kill all joy and cause a lot of stress and anxiety it’s hard to know whether you are just “being lazy” as people often confuse ME/CFS with or “scared of activity” leading you to test your limits on a better day/week just to prove otherwise…

Because ME has the hallmark characteristic of Post Exertional Malaise or Post Exertional Neurological Exhaustion which tends to hit between 24-72 hours after an activity but can be longer if you are just running on adrenaline which happens to me all too often.

Yes there are warnings signs as such. For example me not being able to feel my legs properly and feeling like I’m going to collapse but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get PEM from that activity.

Then the PEM hits, increased head pain, facial pressure, back of head pressure, dizziness, brain fog ect. Sometimes I recover fairly quickly. Other times it can take a month to start getting better.

If you start feeling better you think you can do something or should be making use of that time.

It’s hard to rest on a good day just to prevent consequences. If you’ve been ill for a while you want to go out seize the day, make up for that time lost being in bed, barely able to function.

And even if you think your doing this successfully the PEM can still come on. Either because you overestimated yourself or just because pacing isn’t a perfect science nor is it all in our control.

We could get a virus, it could be that time of the month, have a bad nights sleep because someone decides to start drilling at 8pm and doesn’t stop till midnight or symptoms could keep us awake. A stressful situation could arise.

And we go backwards even if we were pacing perfectly.

Sometimes I just say “Fuck it” to pacing.

Either because I want to live my life or I feel pressured because people with other chronic illnesses seem to just be able to push through unbelievable things and I’m just not trying enough.

Now this never ends well. Although I can push cognitive activity without getting too much worse if I’m laying down I can’t with physical activity.

When you want something so much it’s hard to not give it your all. It’s hard to remind yourself that ME is different to other chronic illnesses in that doing too much has often disastrous consequences.

Pacing is hard and impossible to do perfectly. I’ve had people tell me I need to pace better in order to work not understanding that my level of illness makes pacing and being in the office 5 days a week impossible.

Don’t tell us we should pace. We already know that.

And if we aren’t pacing I can reassure you that it’s because we really really really want something or need something or because we just want to spend time with loved ones.