These bingos have been floating around Instagram for years, they’ve only recently popped back up into the stories of those whom I follow. Maybe due to pandemic caused boredom.
I find these bingos problematic, on many counts. Both the physical health ones and the mental health ones. This isn’t an attack on anyone I’ve seen doing them or anyone creating them because I’m sure many people don’t realise the issues with them. It’s just a harmless piece of fun right? Maybe… to you. But there are some real issues associated with them that I’d like to discuss.
With both the physical and mental health bingos create some sort of sick competition as to whose the sickest. Who can score the most with symptoms, treatments and comorbidities. There has been this toxic competition going round certain parts of the spoonie community before and it’s simply not okay. A place that many come to for support and a sense of community. A place that many people come to in order to feel less alone. It’s supposed to be a safe space and not a source of ones own illness imposter syndrome.
This can be even more damaging with the mental health bingos. It’s already common with mental illnesses for people to believe they’re not sick enough for treatment. These bingos make that worse.
Mental health bingos can also be hugely triggering, especially eating disorder bingos which often give ideas for behaviours that can be used or use numbers.
It hurts my heart to see these in the recovery community, where someone’s followers are often highly vulnerable.
The thing with Instagram and especially stories is that it’s hard to avoid taking in this information. Unless someone puts a trigger warning on before doing the bingo and you can then choose to click off of the story.
I know how hard that is when we have limited energy and when we may not realise the trigger as it doesn’t trigger us. But if you want to engage in these bingos I believe it’s the safest way to do so.
Living with chronic illness is hard for many a reason, one of these is the constant trial and error. Especially if you have one of those chronic illnesses that is poorly understood by the medical profession.
It’s trial and error with medications and with daily routines. What makes this trial and error so hard is that things change on a daily, if not hourly basis. Symptoms get better over time or get worse over time, and often fluctuate throughout the day. Symptoms can feel the same but your body may react completely differently to your actions on two separate occasions. Not only this but the trial and error of medications is mentally draining. Your body may finally settle down enough for you to start living your life again. You may think you’ve found your perfect cocktail of drugs and then you notice your symptoms increasing. You hope it’s just a flare but it gets worse. Suddenly your back and forth to the GP again, trying to find that perfect cocktail yet again. The potential side effects looming.
It takes time, it takes patience. There’s frustration. It’s exhausting.
Finding the perfect cocktail in the first place is exhausting, it’s frustrating and it is hard to go through without acquiring a mental breakdown.
Life with chronic illness is like going through the whole process again and again and again.
It’s like doing a science experiment on your own body.
However it also reminds you to never take anything for granted.
With a chronic illness you know your in it for the long haul. You know it could always get worse. You know symptoms you thought you’d said goodbye to could always come back.
The trial and error is exhausting, and it may make us snappy at times. But because of this we’re also very grateful people.
One of the biggest problems us Chronically ill face is the lack of understanding from those who don’t suffer the same afflictions. Which, I get it. You can’t understand something like this. Something that you’ve never been experienced before and sounds so alien from your healthy person life.
I feel one of the best ways to describe it is through Christine Miserandino’s Spoon theory. Unlike the average human being us chronically ill have a limited number of energy reserves or symptom tolerance in a day. And yes technically we can go over those in a day, but if we were to do that then it would leave us with less spoons for the next day or more. Until we were to just completely stop.
Now imagine each daily activity takes away a certain number of these spoons. Even the most simplest of them.
Lets start with getting out of bed. Yes even that takes spoons from us. Now lets think of taking a shower, that can also take a lot of spoons from the Chronically sick. Even more if we were to wash our hair, or shave at the same time.
Now you’ve got the gist of things you can see that even after completing tasks that are mindless or even refreshing to the average person we end up severely compromised.
When you have a chronic illness you are constantly fighting. Constantly pushing through relentless pain and fatigue. Not to mention the whole host of other symptoms that we can sometimes face with a chronic illness.
Yet most of us look perfectly healthy and able on the outside but please understand that this is not the case. Our body is fighting a war on the inside which is invisible to everyone looking from the outside.
This is why we may not want to socialise. It’s not even that we don’t want to. Mentally we probably do. Mentally we are probably bored of feeling physically capable of nothing. But physically we can’t do it and if we do it will just continue and heighten our daily suffering.
And we don’t want that. We don’t want to end up back at our worst for weeks or even months on end when we can prevent it. Most things in life are not worth that. Not atall.
So please try to gain a little understanding before you judge us or frown upon out attitudes or work ethic. If we say no. Please don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s that our bodies are fighting a war that you could never understand.
We just don’t have the same unlimited number of spoons that the average healthy person has. We have a limited number.