The people you find at the climbing gym and how this relates to the people you find when you have a chronic illness.

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Han 4 years ago, playing on a V0 for fun

The climbing gym is a lot like an actual gym. But with better music and a more social atmosphere. Nethertheless it can get quite intimidating climbing the lower grades when there’s burley men or women climbing grades above your max. (Mine is a V4 right now) Hilariously these are the people who are often the kindest. They may cheer you on when you’re attempting a difficult move or provide useful advice. Not in a nagging, one up on you way but because they recognise that everyone starts somewhere and collaboration is sometimes helpful.

There are then two types of people who are at around the same level as you. There’s the people you meet when your both working on the same problem. There’s a specific problem that I’ve been working on for two weeks and sent today during my lets send the most antistyle V1s in this gym sesh today. I got 4 of the 5 that I hadn’t yet sent. But hadn’t even attempted the 5th before today and I wasn’t feeling well and I got V3 to make up for it. So fair.

Anyway this STEEP problem I sent today. Nice holds and everything. I’ve had quite a few nice conversations whilst working on it. It seems no matter the height the crux is the same for everyone. An awkward across up, steep af move. It’s not hard. When you know how. But how is different for everyone. This is something I like about bouldering. I tend to boulder on my own – unless I go to a group coaching session or the women’s group at my wall as I find this a better way to get into the right headspace than if climbing with my closest friend or younger brothers.

I do like striking random conversations with people I’ve never met before. Especially when they’re nice people at your level and trying to do the same thing. It’s quite motivating and other people’s betas are always helpful if your just stuck.

It’s certainly one of the pro’s of climbing in a busy gym.

Then there’s the people who are at around your level and have already sent the problem your trying and just give unsolicited advice and not just one piece. One piece fine. Thanks. I’ll try your beta suggestion or think more about using that specific technique. I have no issue with one piece of unsolicited advice and will take it with open arms. I find it helpful even though often this hasn’t been the beta that worked it’s been nice to try new things.

My issue is those people who are not coaches and take it on themselves to try and coach you as if they have one up on you. No bbz. Focus on your own game. Of course, I’ll take your advice. I’ll think about it. I may even try your beta for that part of the problem and see what happens. But if it doesn’t work, I want the freedom to be able to stick to my own instincts without being insulted for it. These types of people don’t help when you already can get anxious about people watching you. I know it affects my game sometimes! We are all different people. We all have different bodies and different circumstances. Maybe my eventual beta for this final V1 (when I get it, if I get it) won’t be the most technical or the most graceful. And yes technique is so so so important and why I sent my first V4s in four years because I certainly can’t fall back on strength. It’s also why I sent that STEEP AF V1 I did today.

But and there is a big but. Asides from different bodies = different betas. You don’t need to use all the techniques in every single problem nor make an effort to do so. It’s about having a toolbox and unlocking what you need when you need.

I liken these people who give this sort of never ending one up on you kind of advice at the gym to people on social media or in life with/without chronic illness trying to give never ending advice about your chronic illness.

Those “have you tried yoga types.” or “My friend had ME and she had GET and got better.” I’m sure anyone reading this who has a chronic illness can come up with many others.

I think sometimes asides from a genuine desire to help advice like this be it in climbing or in health some people give advice like this due to an insecurity the person has and it makes sense. Coming from a very insecure person I get it. But it’s not cool and it can be really harmful (less so in climbing other than injury wise and getting more anxious and overwhelmed wise.) but in chronic illness life this sort of advice can be incredibly harmful. Both physically and mentally. It can leave you feeling deflated like your not trying enough to get better. At worst it can lead you to do something that causes a permanent deterioration.

AND THAT IS NOT COOL.

If you see yourself giving this type of advice, then please think before you speak. I get that you may think your helping or doing a good deed or are insecure or whatever but just think before you speak.

Working, Climbing and Endo Flare’s

Disclaimer: All climbing pictures are of me in 2016.Seeing as last weeks week in the life went down so well I thought this weeks post should be another week in the life, so without further ado lets start.

Monday came, as Monday always comes. I had work cause 9-5 life so of course I did and blew up some balloons and did some more shadowing. I also noticed that I was feeling a lot more settled than I did last week, which was nice. I cancelled by BT contract and ordered a data dongle (which hilariously got delivered home home) I had climbing in the evening as a signed up to a technique coaching which was really chill and a really nice refresher of all the things I know but are really hard to put into practice once your on the wall and panicking. I also pushed myself put of my comfort zone and achieved things I wouldn’t have been able to do when I was stronger a few years ago because they would have been so far out of said comfort zone. I used to do V5s on slabs but put me on an overhang and no. Now I’m a consistent V1-3 (almost). It makes me really happy to see how much I’ve come on just in a few weeks really! I’m not amazing but I’m improving and trying my best and that’s what matters.

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Tuesday we won fourth place for our decorations at work. I did more cutting, more shadowing and we had a few snowball fights. My endo pain was really bad on Tuesday and not in that sort of majorly overcompensaty way but in that I’m kind of overcompensating but also very easily irritated and if you know me well enough very much showing it. I came home roasted some veggies tried the quorn chicken fillets which are the closest thing to chicken I’ve had without actually being chicken. Blew my mind. When looking to try and empty my dropbox I found my graduation – realised just how cringe I look just before I go up the 2nd time. Deffo not TV material nor photogenic. I then found it funny that me. Me of all people graduated top of the class. If you think about it, I spent most of first year unable to sit through 30 minutes of a class without beyond excruciating endometriosis pain cause it really affected my bladder at the time. I then relapsed into ME and ended up largely bed bound. It was thanks to my uni being so helpful and moving me to the centre of campus for third year that I could attend any lectures atall. I fought through severe pain, pain I cannot deal with now without getting close to losing it. I’m honestly so proud of myself. I may not have a graduate job but that’s okay. I know I will one day.

Wednesday was hell on earth. I didn’t really have anyone to talk to at work cause of where I was sitting and my assigned reading took an hour. With the extra reading I assigned myself another hour but it was v boring and v slow although I was fortunate enough to get told to go home early and being the team player I am – I posted a letter on my way home. I feel like my line manager is a bit too touchy feely false nicey. But I don’t know. Such is life. I seem to attract people like that. Like seriously so I’m used to it and I’m happy and once I start doing actual work I’ll be happier. My endo was causing some kidney pain in my right kidney (well presumably cause the patterns of pain) and my left ovary and I partially dislocated my right ankle on my way home. I went climbing and we did some dyno work and I tried campusing for the first time! It was very fun although I have no upper body strength so had to rely on swinging alone and as a result couldn’t get far. The campusing also caused my endometriosis to flare and lead to some intense pain from kidneys down.  I also did two blues (so like V2/3 ish)  that I couldn’t do on Monday and I did them with ease. Funny that isn’t it. Also story of my life. Can’t do something one day, flashes it the next.

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As a result we sported the sleep deprived Han on Thursday. And v nauseous and ya know when you start getting those contraction like pains in your uterus. That was me. But I had log ins at work. Worked numerous cases and asked if I needed to go home more than once but did I actually go home early? Nah. The thing with being chronically ill is that it can always get worse. And what then? Working full time with them is about utilising those sick periods and sick days carefully. And do you know what, it’s a balance I need to learn to strike. I’ve been working full time (different roles) since August and not one sick day yet, I plan to keep it that way although what with me wanting a gyne referral and a laparoscopy it won’t. And the nature of chronic illness in general is that it won’t. But a     girl can dream. I got home, tried to get some nutrition in me and then felt beyond unbearably sick so didn’t move all night. It had fortunately eased before sleep time though because otherwise it would have been another sleepless night.

Friday I didn’t feel great when I woke up and wasn’t sure if it was PEM from the climbing sesh on Wednesday starting or just my ME being it’s usual self and interrupting with my mornings. We had a team pizza lunch at work which was nice and I definitely established that my ME symptoms were PEM throughout the afternoon. I literally came home. Napped. Got up to get food and ended up stuck on the floor. So yah PEM.

Fair to say I then didn’t get out of bed until 10am this morning! I’m currently in the library to upload this and do some application work then I’ll go back home and rest and probably make Christmas cards to keep me occupied as I don’t think I’ll be well enough to read the challenging book I’ve started and I only decided to make xmas cards today! With 4 days to go. Yes I know my stupidity.

One more climb before Christmas! Likely Monday after work as the climbing bug has hit me hard again. And I would miss it too much otherwise. Will take it easy if I’m half as pre-syncope like as I am today but gonna go!

Happy holidays everyone. I’ll be back next week with the big 2019 post!