Put your hands up spoonies if you constantly find yourself blaming yourself for flare ups. Even if you know you did nothing wrong and it was just one of those things. Or maybe you did. Maybe you pushed it too far. But knowing our limits is hard and you to give yourself some grace.
I seem to constantly place the blame on myself and yes sometimes that is warrented. Like today for example. When I decided to go climbing unfuelled and under hydrated and fatigued super quick. Good sesh. Got my 6C proj but not the state to train in and that warrants blame. What doesn’t warrant blame is the little (or big) flare ups that likely would have happened anyway.
We need to stop this. Not only because of how it makes us look to other people, especially judgemental non-spoonies but also for our own mental wellbeing.
Flare ups are the nature of the beast. We could wrap ourselves up in cotton wool. We could live the perfect lifestyle, do all the yoga, drink all the celery juice and believe it or not they still happen. Life is so so hard to manage, especially if your young and ambitious. Trying to balance everything when you have multiple chronic illnesses is impossible.
Blaming yourself for flare ups is one way to end up very mentally ill and constantly hating yourself and thinking your not enough.
A) You are enough
B) We have enough to deal with without depression and anxiety, which most of us already have because pain changes the brain. (It has been scientifically proven).
So we need to change the dialogue and stop blaming ourselves for our flare ups. We’ll be much happier for it and maybe people will respect us more if we stop blaming ourselves.